心的开始...: Blog

见证人。。。

Sun, 18 May 2008 16:35:07 GMT

（爸爸：求你教导我如何在这件事上扮演一个称职的见证人，时刻的提醒我，我不过只是个见证人，真正在工作的，还是你。我只是为了见证你的伟大的作为而存在的。）

大家请为中国代祷

Wed, 14 May 2008 04:40:01 GMT

Dun need me to say much, I believe that you guys have heard what happened to china recently, Its all over the news... maybe let me tell you guys something what u dun see or hear on the news .. I was talking to one of my local frens here.. and this is wat he said to me of wat one of his room mates said regarding the donation event that one of the faculty in my school has started in response to the 512 earthquake...

A :"跟我没关系。。。　我不在乎。。"

B(whose hometown was affected) : "难道你不知道这个地震对我的家乡的破坏有多严重吗?"

A: 那样的破东西，破了也无所谓 ....

(based on my memory)

i was very stunned, when i heard this, how hard their hearts are.. on the day it happened, me and a couple of my close frens, were out on our parade square praying for the nation ... i was reminded of wat happened years ago to america.. i believe that the the same thing is happening to china now.. that DADDY will use the various events to wake up the hearts and minds of the ppl here.... to turn the hearts of the ppl here back to him .. from the begining of this year till now.. the snowstorm, the train crash.. i believe its all so that ppl will turn back to DAD. yes the ppl down here needs all the support, the material aids that they need.. but more i believe is that they need to understand why is it happening to them now.. This is year 2008, the most important year for china .. the olympics is here.. pray for the revival, pray for the unity, pray for ppl to stand up, pray for the ppl to understand, pray for their hearts, pray for them to be saved...

黑夜里的星光

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:31:48 GMT

在无数个黑夜里，在月亮也不在的时候，就只有星星依旧存在。在静默的黑夜里，陪伴你，指引你方向。很多时候，黑夜因为有了星星而变得不那么冷和凄凉。

天色渐明，我们便看不到黑夜里的星光，忘了之前的黑夜，走向光明。可是难道星星就只有这样的用处吗？难道星星真的只有在黑夜来临的时候才出现的吗？难道太阳出来了，星星就真的要消失吗？其实我们都知道是的。这是永恒不变的定律的。星星的存在，只是为了陪伴，作为桥梁等待黎明的到来。朝阳升起，一切都结束了。

星星们有的躲在阳光底下，有的跑到世界的另一端，继续它的工作，地球继续转动。

重新开始

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:20:52 GMT

重新在站起来，我要述说爸爸在这一年对我的恩典。爸爸在这一年，在我生命中所做的一切。我要让大家知道，我为什么在这一年时不时的提起那些事情，不是因为我走不出，也不是我放不下。。。而是我要时常提醒自己，爸爸在这一年对我的保守和恩典。祂在这一年改变我的生命里的种种，因此我要感谢祂，因为今天的我都是爸爸的带领而成的。

Today marks the day of completion of one thing, it also marks the day of the end of my past. Thus with all that joy that I have gained thru this year, I look forward... hmm... time to do something usual huh=) take away something that has followed me for a year... heh heh ... *growl*

纪念日前夕。。。

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:10:59 GMT

已经下了一整天的雨现在还在下。。　很少看到北京下雨如此久，温度也一下子降了好几度。也可能是　雨的关系。。。　今天来教会的人也不多，结束后和他们几个一起去吃火锅＝］

(呵呵。。　）

其实也没啥大不了的。。。　因为当时也是在没任何征兆的情况下发生的。。。　要来的终究要来的。。原本很多话想说的。。。现在什么都不想说了。。　

还有一天。。。。

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:10:03 GMT

以后就不想在blog上面写有关于这个的事。。。。　＝］

太多人说看不懂。。。

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:24:43 GMT

首先。。　抱歉。。　我知道很多人都说看不懂，不知道我在说啥，我只想说，再忍我两天吧，因为现在的我在经历一些事情，之后我会改变我的写作方式的。谢谢＊鞠躬＊

Do-Re-Mi 生日。。。

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:22:00 GMT

左起：大刷子，Lucia，小栗子，宇竞，老板，Do-Re-Mi (另一图）

吃的好饱哦。。　一路上有说有笑的，真的很开心。真的很喜欢这样的感觉，这样的团契。因为这样我们才称为朋友，称为弟兄姐妹。

开心的日子让我想起，当时也是这样的。对，当时也是这样的。21号就要到了。还有三天就完成了。加油吧！

赢了咯。。。

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:38:57 GMT

（小红，小白，小黑）

今天晚上，跟之前的几个晚上一样，我去捧子冉的场。特别是因为今晚是do-re-mi 的生日，所以为了帮她庆祝，子冉还特地为了她而练习“生日歌”呢。“请罪”为了赶回宿舍拿礼物骑了我的车回去。结果引发史无前例的事件。我这辆racer　是我这个学期买的新车。跟以往的车还真不是一个级别呢。而且在加上我颠峰状态的时候保持的“连续十天往返清华大学”的最高纪录，我算是骑自行车的老手了。不过我从来就没想到会有这么一天，我会追着自己的自行车跑。可能她太过kan cheong 了。我一解开锁链，她就骑走了，留下我愣在那里。不一会儿我发现不对。。锁链和钥匙都在我这。。　她拿什么锁我的车？结果手里拿着那锁链拔腿就追。其中还叫了她几声，但我想可能我的车太好骑了，她也不愿意停下来。就这样追到她的宿舍外了（-_-"）。这样来来回回，有够呛的！最“郁闷”的是做了这么多结果主角却没来。。。　哎。。。　哈哈　。。。　赢了咯。。

这世上有很多门，有些是爸爸为我们而设，会为我们打开的，有些门外挂着“闲人免进”“内有恶犬”等的牌子，有些门打不开的，但也有些门一旦打开了，便很难再关上。。。

现在的开心，因为以前也是。。。　纪念日就要到了，曾经也做了很多事。去了些地方。。。　往事历历在目啊。。。

Master Mission Mate

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:21:26 GMT

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep, soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone. I love you, My child, and until you discovered that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to have the BEST . Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am. keep learning and listening to the things I tell you; you must wait.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream of. you see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready ( I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time ), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and is thus perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."

(author unknown)

已经不是第一次把这个帖子放在我的blog 上面了。说实在的，也数不清了。只知道每次贴的时候的心情都是不一样的。有时期待，有时伤心，有时坚决，有时害怕，有时迷茫，有时洒脱，有时快乐，有时可以不顾一切。虽然短短的一篇文章，所包含的却是我的我一直以来想（也正在）走的路。要走这条路是不容易的。

就在一年纪念日要来的时候，快乐的时间已不多的情况下，好好的预备自己将来要走的路。因为这纪念日只此一次，过了便结束了，完成了便不再回头了。。。。够了。。。 -_-

keeping my focus right and clear ...

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:13:34 GMT

把注意力放在那永恒的，那不改变的，那爱我的。让自己朝着标杆直跑。只要第一位放对了，剩下的都会自动就位的。To please Him, is all i am asking that my life would be.

嗯...算了算，就定为四月二十一吧。就定那天为纪念日吧。The days of mourning will be over soon, and then 就够了。:)

最近说了一些话（其实好像不止一些）

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:06:53 GMT

在一周年就要来临的时候，我看到了爸爸在我这一年当中所做的，所改变的，特别是祂的恩典在我这一年的“调整期”让我深刻的理解和感受到祂是信实的。祂的恩典够我用。还有两周吧，真的跟一年前完全的不一样。

同时在这段时间我也经历了些事情也学到了很重要的功课。特别是阴天的那件事让我有机会来面对一次这样的试炼。而经文从今天的团契中得到：哥罗西书3章12－14节。

所以，你们既是神的选民，圣洁蒙爱的人，就要存怜悯、恩慈、谦虚、温柔、忍耐的心。倘若这人与那人有嫌隙，总要彼此包容，彼此饶恕；主怎样饶恕你们，你们也要怎样饶恕人。在这一切之外要存着爱心，爱心就是联络全德的。

所以在在读这经文时对我的感触很大，发生了这么多的事而且好像每样都是冲着我来的。让我更加感受到爸爸对我的爱和带领，因为我知道我自己是不可能做到的，若是我凭着自己的想法去做事，结果将会是很糟糕的。这段时间我也和很多人在聊天，说了一大堆话。每当我说的时候，就好像在爸爸在提醒我自己一样。让自己也要按着我自己所说，以爸爸为中心来创建自己的生活。谢谢爸爸给我的机会让我分享我自身的经历，让我所说的，不是凭着自己，不是注重自己，That God should increase and I should decrease.

What I have said I hold on to it. Something that I will not change easily. Its like a covenant, there is no turning back. However bad or good it turns out, I will not regret.

2 more weeks i guess. must seize the day to enjoy what is left.The time will come soon.

Door locked, keys lost. ....should I look for the key ?

最近的一些事。。。

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:51:33 GMT

最近天气开始变热，虽偶尔有雨，但还是无法降低那逐渐提升的温度，也无法冷却我最近的火气。真的需要些“特制凉茶”来降降温度。最近发生的一些事情，不知为何都好像是冲着我来的。好像对于很多身边发生的事情都特别的敏感。自从回北京前的那一次，之后我便发觉自己在这一方面的软弱。

一直以来都以“情绪自我调节大师”的身份而自居。其实早在一年以前我自认这门“神功”已经练成了。也在接下来的一年内看到那“神功”的功效。不过在回来之前的，上一周的，昨天的几件事情当中，真的挑战了我的极限。让我知道自己在这方面的软弱吧。（因此我很感谢爸爸在这方面的带领和保守）因为我知道自己的火气的程度，也知道若是在怒气中行事是何等的可怕和不好（认识我，见过我生气的人都会知道，我生气的样子是“不是很好看”的）。

（In your anger, do not sin )　当然我毕竟还是人，要一直压抑自己是不可能的，总要有个释放的管道。曾经有个得罪我的人说她宁愿我把怒气指向她，这样她会好过点，同时我也不会压抑自己的怒气。但是不能啊，我怎么能够如此呢？这个世界上，没有人应该成为另一个人的出气筒，我不喜欢把自己不好的加添在别人身上。因此从最近的几件事情上，让我看到了，其实宽恕一个人比making the person pay for what he/she has done 还要好。

这样比一直记在心里要好得多了，也可以让别人不必活在愧疚中，自己也得到解脱。这虽然是个大家都懂得的道理，但要做出来却不是那么简单的。那天晚上我也曾经想过要逃跑，不要面对，等到我自己的“神功”能够化解这样的情绪后才来面对。但我想是爸爸拉我回来的，来从新面对之前没学好的功课。

Okay... Its the same, everything seems to be happening again. looking at the incidents over the past few weeks brings me memories... The year has passed, things are different now, the incidents can be the same but the actions will not be the same, Because I know that Daddy has been faithful to me the past year. And I have seen how my heart has changed, my situation has changed, my attitudes and mind sets are now different from that of those days. I can only say, its not me. Its HIM.... *applause applause*

下雨天（Even so... )

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:11:49 GMT

昨天在一个朋友的牵线下我和一个（损友）参加一个网络广播电台的直播节目。第一次踏入直播室，真是难得的经历。到了事后，离开了直播室，我还在庆幸，至少我没说太多，不象和我一起去的，他呢。。。一言以蔽之，该说的不该说的他全说了。。。　哈哈。。

屈指一数，就快要一年了吧。当时的我，算是很强的吧（有个十天的记录）。做了很多事，每天过得很充实，也很有盼望（至少我是这么认为的）很喜欢那样的感觉。嗯。。隐约记得当时也曾经喝过牛奶，照顾自己的身体。好像也是这个时候第一次离开往外跑的。真的好高兴哦。。　

我想还有至少两周。。　或者一周多一点的快乐时间。。。　还有。。。　慢慢来吧。。　继续沉静在这样的情境中吧。。　那日就要来了。。。＝）　

反正闲着也是闲着.....

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:42:18 GMT

（左起："老板"，"小三"，子冉，"DO-RE-MI"，"请罪"，"大刷子"）

原本是打算想早点睡觉的(难得吧）但是因为突然发现在床旁边，那一堆的衣服。才知道自己今晚若是不去洗衣的话，明天可就没衣服穿了。还好的是公寓有洗衣机，衣服丢进去，刷下卡，就ok了。

所以就利用洗衣机为我工作的这段时间，好好的来写些东西。说实在的今天挺快乐的，认识我的人，都应该知道我不是很喜欢去K 歌，反正自己都五音不全，就饶了大家，让他们耳根清净吧。而且也不是很喜欢那样的环境。但是今天还是给他们几个拉去K歌了。

虽然那边的环境不是很好。又没有空调，热的半死，以致有些人（包括我）都没啥劲。。。　但是会发生的事终究还是会发生的。来了几首节奏快的歌，大家便开始跳起舞来，每唱完（跳完）一首，都得开门透透气。。。这样的气氛把之前那些半死的都激活了。。

其实真的没想到会这么好。。　大家都玩得挺开心的，　唱得好不好其实不重要。。＝）当中也发现了一些实力派的歌唱家（哪天办演唱会，要给我票哦。。呵呵。。）

unstable web..

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 13:06:14 GMT

one thing i hav discovered abt the internet down here... it can be quite unstable at times... there are times where certain sites just cannot be assessed... glad that this site is workin now.. but the rest are still inassessible...

so glad the other day that i hav linked up with hua ken, and will be meeting up with him for lunch... i am so so happy abt that .. being able to find frens whom i know of. i cant wait to see them soon .. and aaron too... when he comes !!!

its really a great time down here studying.... everytime lesson ends and as i walked back ... i always think of how amazing that i can be here and not anywhere else... to be here in beijing to study has been one of my greatest wish since army days.. though i did go thru a period of doubt initially when i was here.. but as i gradually adapts to the lifestyle down here... things hav become better... to know so many ppl are actually caring for me... oh and next year i might hav a fren who will be here for long term .. and as usual... its a they-know-me-and-i-dunno-them kinda fren....but its definately good to have more ppl down here... its really cool ( cold as well ) to be here !!! XD

mee goreng !!! drool*

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:34:09 GMT

its.. MEE GORENG !!!! i missed it so much.. thanks to sheryl for the effort... i hav been dying for msg filled singapore food lately... and seeing that plate of delicious looking mee goreng... only served to make me desire more.. haha... anyway, i am still thankful for that...

how i desired to meet ppl whose passion is also the same as mine... who knows what i am talking abt... who is willing to pay the price? i need this ppl to come along side and encourage me.. its difficult for me.. even to write what i wanna write down here, i dunno how to write it in a way that expresses my full emotions and thoughts... like wat william said to me, about me that i am a man who is very passionate, but when the things that i am passionate abt dun happen, i can be discouraged easily... aunty lilian said that i need to guard my daily time otherwise i will fail to be alert... so thats what i hav to do for the time being.. the struggle goes on...

(-.-)

Begining to like it here

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 15:34:02 GMT

i was just taking a stroll and looking at people walking up and down.. enjoying the very cold* breeze( more like a gale actually) i begin to realise that i am actually starting to like this place already. just a simple fondness for this place that i will be in for the coming four years. school work is piling up... things are getting difficult ( oh and for the recent test. i ranked 5 in the class *applause applause*) but still thru little ways by helping ppl in my class... i found joy, like helping them with school work ( currently giving tuition to this fren of my in class over maths ) and helping the class mates with the copyin of the lecture notes into the thumb drive( then i realised that many of them actually dun know how to operate a com *faint*) . still language is still a major barrier between me and these korean buds, but i believe things will change for the better.

temp is still cold.. wind is still dry and big.. .. my lips are still chapped.. welcome aaron !! to the land of the unknown... hehe... i cant wait to see u bro....!!!!

The first day of winter..

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 15:57:20 GMT

Today officially .. hehe.. is the first day of winter ... and one thing i learned today is that it is a custom down here that on the first day of the winter.. they all will eat jiao zi.. which kinda reminded me how much jiao zi we made and ate at paul's farewell at aunty lilians house... but well... respect the customs... so i went to eat jiao zi .. din eat much .. just a plate full. oh and they started turning on the heaters, which makes siting at my table comfortable..cos the heater is just beside the table.

well for school.. homework is piling up... but still not tat bad if i really put my heart to finishing it.. many times i am just tempted to leave it to the last minute... but this should change, cos i must never forget the purpose and the grace that i hav received for being here.. though, in the class its so common that ppl skip classes, or come late( i mean very late) or only appears once in a long while .. so much so that ppl i really know well enuff are actually the usual ones that are always there at the lectures, some times its hard to concentrate, with so many distractions ard.. i hav to keep my eyes to myself, something i am learning rite now.. to not to shop when i can't afford it anyway.. yeah.. so keep praying for me .. to really make good use of the time here...

power of language.

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:44:25 GMT

Just the other day Daddy showed me as i was reading the history of literature of china. the power of language,and how during the cultural revolution, how different writers rise up and wrote many great literature that has affected that generation of ppl... and i thought to myself. will that happen to me too.. ? i always say that a picture can speak more than a thousand words... but recently i began realised that words, when put together, can make a person think, imagine, feel, creating pictures in the mind that no picture can represent, like sowing a seed and waiting for it to grow. how am i goin to reach tat stage. seems so far away...

just yesterday i heard from aaron that he is coming in a couple of weeks, on a school trip. boy, i am so so happy.. finally i am going to hav visitors!!! by all means i am going to find him and meet up with him when he comes... so so looking forward to it

weather's turning cold, down here i guess the temp isnt the coldest, but the winds are surely the worst thing u can expect... during the childhood days when parents say to their kids who are very skinny.. 看你这么瘦，　风大一点都可以把你吹走... down here it can really happen wan lor... so big that cyclin against the wind became an exercise... and at night it can be quite scary to hear the wind blow outside..

a new change... lets see how this one works..... =)

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 17:23:19 GMT

some probs with the old blog ... so i decided to move on with msn space... and see how this works... so ppl... please continue to give ur support and i will keep u guys updated with whats going on here... ... =)